Depression & Anger
- Rahel Landolt
- Apr 21
- 5 min read
There's a topic I have lots of energy around: It is depression and how it is commonly 'treated'.
When I hear how people are being encouraged to take medication without that the body and the nervous system are being considered, and specifically anger – that's what comes up in me: anger. Or maybe it is passion. (Some say every emotion has two poles. In that framework, anger and passion function as a pair).
Anyways. In Somatic Experiencing, we learn that depression is not rarely connected to a suppression of anger*. And it resonates a lot with me – from my own experience and that of my clients.
Recently in a session with a client who was diagnosed with depression (as he didn't notice any significant improvement of his state, he stopped the prescribed medication), he told me that his feet and hands feel usually cold.
Oh, it doesn't come as a surprise to me! Ok, some bodies have naturally colder limbs. And: it makes sense from a nervous system perspective that he experiences these symptoms:
Depression is connected to the so-called freeze state. Where the system shuts down. Energy and blood flow go to the viscera, the center of the body, in order to ensure the functioning of the organs necessary for survival.
Now imagine an ice-cube. 🧊
How does it melt? How does it become soft, warm, fluid?
You add warmth – the quality of fire. 🔥
The same goes for the nervous system: In order to get out of depression, it often doesn't make sense to meditate, sit still, or make an effort to have "positive" thoughts (how should that be possible anyway if the body is in a survival mode, seeing danger all around?).
Instead, for ease and peace to come into body, mind and soul – it is (think ice-cube) important to bring in fire. And the emotions connected to that are anger 😡 and passion ❤️🔥. It is also movement (flames dance, don't they?). Physical movement. Vocal movement. Any form of: Expression.
Maybe you know the saying
"Depression is lack of expression"
?
To feel the zest for life again, it can be very effective therefore to
let your body move if it wants to
work with anger
follow your passions
other things that mobilize your system – what I call the quality of "fire".
Yet, this is very simplified. It is not the anger, or the passion, or the movement itself that heals. I explain why. (At least) three factors need to be considered: 1. Learn notice the FIRST SIGNS of "fire" IN THE BODY.
I'm well aware that following these suggestions might not come easily at all, when in a state of depression, freeze. For some reason, we're there – not moving, not expressing.
To access fire, it is paramount to learn noticing what's happening in the body: To be able to notice the very first impulse
of movement that wants to happen (it can be a toe or a finger that twitches, or unfurls!).
of the heat of anger come up, a tiny "No", a small irritation, a sense of sth isn't right.
of a micro-dose of curiosity, interest, aliveness, warmth show up.
"Physiological arousal leads to the experience of emotion." – James Lange
This means:
Practice noticing what's happening in your body: Cold feet and hands? That's great awareness! Qualities of temperature – it could also be tingling, expansion, bubbliness, tension, stuckness etc. (btw you find a vocabulary for your sensational experience in my somatic mini-guide "A Way Back to Your Body"). It could also be feeling the weight of your body. Noticing the rhythm and direction of your breath. Sensing anything at all.
There, try to extend that a little. Gently stay with it for a little. Maybe it fades away immediately. Maybe though more movement is happening. More activation. Physical arousal.
Allow it, follow the impulse – yet: do so slowly.** Which is where we come to the second important factor:
Titrate it
As I've mentioned in this blog already a few times: It doesn't really make sense to go into a pillow-scream-fight... often what happens in these moments is that we cannot stay present in the body. The anger can become overwhelming, chronic, repetitive, destructive to ourselves or others – and/or eventually freeze up again.
Also with passion, we can be totally disembodied – feeling almost manic, uncontained, disconnected from ourselves and our environment. Not being connected to our body, our senses, sensuality. The pleasure of what we otherwise would enjoy is gone. Therefore: Keep tracking what's happening in your body as you notice irritation, anger, or curiosity and aliveness, a certain passion come up. Breathe in between. Take breaks. And most importantly:
Stay Resourced
Anger can, as mentioned, be destructive or too much to handle. When it's expressed in a healthy, integrated way, it can become clarity, assertiveness and boundaries though.
For that to happen – 2 qualities are needed:
Internal strength.
A competent protector.
These two factors work as so-called resources. Resources so the nervous system feels safe and supported – which is paramount in order to shift patterns in the nervous system.
Same goes for pleasure! It can, as mentioned, be experienced in a manic, disembodied way. To be able to experience it instead as aliveness, as creativity and as flow... to actually be able to feel it, sense it, in our bodies – we need to stay resourced.
This is why also in pleasure, in expansion, the things that make us feel-good, warm and yummy, often have a plateau. Which means: the fear needs to be addressed that can be associated with expansion. When working with depression – and tracking for aliveness and arousal which can show up as, shades of passion and anger... it's not about increasing intensity. It's about increasing the capacity to be with them. It's about building resiliency. It's about showing our system how to navigate the ups and downs of life without that it feels the need to go into shutdown.
It's about being able to hold more of our aliveness.
What are the next steps?
So, lots of theory and text. What to do next? You can follow my suggestions by yourself. Building awareness is so great! Notice when these glimpses of aliveness come up in your body. And if possible, titrate them. Stay resourced.
The workings of the nervous system are quite complex and unique to each person. There's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to how our body-mind works. On top, many wounds and trauma happen in relationship – and are easiest renegotiated in relationship. Young parts of our nervous system can learn to self-regulate through co-regulation.
If you feel curious to work with me, you may reach out. I'd be happy to get to know you.
PS: Below, a snippet of how I alchemized a certain paralysis – overthinking, stuck emotion – to aliveness yesterday. Many ways lead to Rome... One of my mantras: Learn to catch dysregulation early. Once in it, it is much more difficult to get out of it than it was to get inside.
*Btw anger doesn't just "get suppressed" randomly. It gets adapted, inhibited, or overridden because at some point, not expressing it was safer than expressing it. Because of punishment, withdrawal of love, conflict escalation, or being shamed. It can also be learned, for example when caregivers themselves had inhibited ways of expressing anger.
Unexpressed anger is neither the only reason for why depression can show up. But also factors like chronic overwhelm, loss or grief, prolonged stress, or not feeling supported/a deep sense of disconnection.]
**yet also not too slow. You might lose momentum/the movement/activation, your system fall back immediately to the freeze state.
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